From Glasses to Contacts

My name is Kari, and I have an astigmatism.  This is not my fault, actually.  I was born with the eyes I have.  The following is my journey from glasses to contacts.

ASTIGMATISM.  According to the online medical definition of this word, provided by "The Free Dictionary" by Farlex,  "Astigmatism is the result of an inability of the cornea to focus an image onto the retina.  The result is a blurred image."

VISION BACK IN THE DAY.  I grew up with this.  My vision was not "bad enough" for my teenage self to complain to my mom to take me to the eye doctor.  I actually remember disliking my mother's glasses, and I did not want to be told that I needed glasses.  So I did not complain about it.  I could see fine.

I could also see "fine enough" to pass the driver's license vision test.  The state determined, when I was sixteen, that I could see well enough to join the other thousands of drivers in the metro Denver area.

But as medical conditions sometimes worsen over time, my vision did get gradually worse.

GLASSES.  I went to the eye doctor in my 30's, and he gave me a prescription for eyeglasses.  Astigmatism is most noticable in poor lighting, and at the computer.  He asked, "When you look at the moon at night, do you see two?  And I had to admit that I did...not two separate, far-apart moons.  Just the outline of the "double."

So I got the glasses to drive at night, and watch movies.  They also helped when I was working at the computer: images and letters were crisper, clearer.

Then I started noticing things to be a bit blurry inside, when lighting was not great.  Wearing my glasses made things crisper and clearer ALL the time, not only at night.  So I wore my glasses more.  Not all the time, just more.

THE SUGGESTION.  Then my husband, who has terrible vision and has worn contacts since he was a teen, suggested that I get fitted for contacts.  The thought of putting my finger in my eye not only once a day, but multiple times a day, made my stomach turn.  It's not natural.  You're kidding, right?

"I'm not kidding," he assured me.  "You wouldn't have to think about where you put your glasses, or which case or car they were in.  Which jacket did you wear the last time you had them with you?  You don't want to wear them ALL the time, but you wear them just enough to lose track of exactly where you had them on last."

So the thought still made me cringe.  Why would I intentionally poke myself in the eye every day?  "No, thank you."  He didn't say anything else about it.

So I watched him, cleaning his contacts every night, and putting them in each morning.  Buying supplies to keep them clean, and packing those supplies when he traveled.

A few months later, when he was no longer asking me about it, I decided to try.  I made the appointment to get fitted for contacts.

SQUINTING.  This doctor explained how my vision worked, and how I had learned to compensate for the astigmatism over time, by squinting.  I didn't even know I was doing it.  But I squint most of the time.  30 years of trying to eliminate that second outline, that "double-image" vision, and I squinted now out of habit.

WEIGHTED CONTACTS.  Up until a few years ago, soft contacts were not available to those with an astigmatism.  Your eye is shaped differently an the contact must sit a specific direction on the eyeball.  Now, however, they have Toric Cotact Lenses, or "weighted contacts," where gravity keeps the contact in the correct positon.  Troy Bedinghaus, O.D. explains how the toric lenses work.

FINGER IN YOUR EYE.  After my doctor figured out my prescription, he got a sample pair for me and put them in for me.  For someone who doesn't like the idea of putting her OWN fingers in her eyes, to have someone ELSE put their finger in my eye was torturous!  Blinking, squinting, holding my own eyelids open with my fingers, and looking to the far upper corner of the room...whew!  He finally got them in.

Then I had to be able to do it mySELF, before I could leave the office.  He had me sit in a quiet room with a table mirror.  The assistant explained how it was done and her encouragement was simply, "you get used to it over time."  Which doesn't help a whole lot the FIRST few weeks and months, right?  I fiddled with them for about 12 minutes each.  I finally got them in.

SOMETIMES YOUTUBE LIES.  I watched a Youtube video of someone putting in her own contacts.  No problem, she did it in about 3 seconds.  I was taking an average of 10 minutes per contact!  Clearly this woman was manipulating the digital video clip.

I practiced for a week, then went back in to the doctor.  The idea is to report difficulties, and then order a year supply if you want to go with the ones you've had for the week.

MONTHS LATER.  Six months later, I am happy to report that I like the contacts, a lot.  There are still times it is more difficult to get them in (usually when I am in more of a hurry than usual), but overall I can do it in just a couple of minutes instead of my original twenty.

If you are considering trying contacts as an alternative to glasses, I would say, "Go for it!"  You have enough to worry about and things to keep track of.  Why add glasses to the list of items you carry around?

Choosing a Cruise: 10 Things to Consider

The cruising industry has taken a beating since the Costa Concordia accident in January. Carnival cruises reported a dip in reservations made, as unsettling photos of the mammoth vessel -- capsized -- splattered websites all over the Internet and the newspapers.

The fact remains, however, that cruising is a very safe, exciting, all-inclusive vacation for friends and family of all ages. Anne Campbell reiterates the safety of massive cruise ships. "It is harder to crash a cruise ship than it is a car or airplane."

Our family took a Carnival Cruise, December of 2011, during the week following Christmas. We had a fabulous time! We have one pre-teen and two teenagers, and we traveled for 7 days to Mexico, Honduras, and Belize.

Cruises have a wide variety of offerings, to meet the needs of a wide range of family members: ages newborn to 110. It of course depends on what you are looking for in a vacation. But often the activities and benefits stand up well in comparisons with any other type of vacation. Here are a few important points to consider in choosing and organizing your cruise:

1. TYPE OF VACATION. Is it a family reunion? Would you like to lay on the beach and relax? Or do you prefer to go-go-go every minute? Cruises can be wonderful for any of the previously mentioned types of vacations.

Cruises provide a good location for family reunions, mostly because of their all-inclusiveness. A big highlight for me was: Lots of Really Good Food. This may be a highlight mostly for moms. I didn't have to cook for 7 days! All meals are included in the price of the cruise, and there is food available any time of day.

Depending on your timing needs, you can eat at one of the multiple buffets, the formal sit-down-and-take-your-order restaurant, or the sushi bar. Of course, don't forget the 24-hour ice cream and pizza. Kids are all about ice cream and pizza.

2. KID-FRIENDLY ACTIVITIES. Many cruise ships have Age-Appropriate Activities. Carnival cruises have daytime and nighttime activities for kids of all ages! Younger kids could do crafts and play games with others in their age bracket.

Our kids went to the teen scavenger hunts(300) and mini-golf, and there was always the pool tables and air hockey to pass time in between activities. There is a break available for parents with small children, if they want to leave their children with the camp specialists as they disembark for the day, or participate in some other form of ship entertainment after dinner. Ship staff avail themselves for private babysitting, too.

I saw lots of little kids on our Carnival Cruise, and I hear that Disney is also, as you can imagine, geared totally towards children. You have a mix of available activities during most of the daytime, and into the evening hours for the older ones, too.

Onboard Entertainment. Each night there is entertainment onboard in different locations on the ship. Ours included song-and-dance shows, comedians, gymnasts and jugglers. There was a magician one night, who also performed for the kids at various times throughout the week.

3. LENGTH OF CRUISE. This is often dictated by the school calendar. (When the kids were all still in elementary school and even Middle School, we didn't worry quite so much about the calendar. As soon as High School rolled around, however, the message the school administration sent was ominous: miss a day of school and you'll be scarred for life, not to mention never get into a decent college or get a job or be able to support yourself for the rest of your life. Wow--was one or two extra vacation days really worth THAT? Probably not.)

Cruises can be as short as 2 nights, and as long as 21 days. Much of the traveling actually occurs at night, when it's dark and while you are sleeping. But there are "days at sea" where you stay on the ship the whole day.

4. DAYS "AT SEA."  This may seem like a silly consideration, but it kind of goes back to the previous question, what type of vacation are you aiming for. For us, it was all about the places we were visiting. We wanted to explore and experience the nature, wildlife, outdoor activities and shopping the ports of call had to offer. The ship was very nice, but it was not the reason we went. If that is your thinking, you would probably try to get a cruise that has fewer "Days at Sea." Maybe two days at sea, max.

Often the ship will sail all day the first day and night, so you have the first day "At Sea." That is fine because everybody is fresh and excited to start their vacation. After that first long stretch, the ship anchors during the day and sails all night to get to the next stop, so when you wake up you can disembark. There are some cruises, however, that have 3 and even 4 days "At Sea." Recognizing that the ship itself can be entertaining, this may or may not be good for the kind of vacation you want.

5. EMBARKATION PORTS. You might be within driving distance of a major port, like Port Canavaral in Florida, or Houston, Texas. Ships also leave from Los Angeles, CA and San Diego. VacationsToGo gives a list of ports in the United states at http://www.vacationstogo.com/cruise_port/United_States_(Continental).cfm Princess Cruises gives a comprehensive list of Ports of Europe at http://www.princess.com/learn/ports/europe/index.html

Your travel to the embarkation ports may include flying or taking a train, to even get to the starting point. This could eat up your vacation budget before you even start! Just another point to consider.

6. WHERE TO GO? Most cruise lines offer a broad range of destinations. It depends on the previous question, "What type of vacation are you trying to have? We live in the Boston area, and my main goal last Christmas was to be warm. I was not interested in Alaska or even Europe in December, so I focused my research on cruise destinations in the Caribbean.

At some point we would love to see Alaska. As thin-blooded as I am, that trip will not take place any month besides July or August. It will involve a whole different set of research criteria, as we someday make plans to travel north. This trip, however, was all about being warm.

7. FLEXIBLE DATES...OR NOT.  Like with the answer to #4, if you are traveling with school-aged children, most likely you have a limited window of time in which to plan your vacation. (Elementary-aged children may have less make-up work to do than high schoolers, or less pressure from teachers to NOT miss school.)

Summers, spring breaks, and the last half of December are very popular times for cruise lines. They will be more likely to sell out all the cabins, and probably advertise fewer discounts. You can still find discounts. They just don't really need to "bribe" people to come stay with them during school breaks. If you are in a life stage where you will not be traveling with children, perhaps you want to choose a time during the off season. The weather may not be ideal, but the crowds would probably be smaller.

8. ROOM LOCATION.  The square footage in the room may be similar (usually small...people only sleep in their rooms, so most of them utilize every square inch and don't give you extra lounging room), but the view can make all the difference.

If you are claustrophobic, you will probably need some kind of natural lighting. This will increase the price of the room some. A porthole at sea level gives natural light, although not much and the view is limited to a fish-eye perspective of the ocean surface. The higher up you go on the ship, the MORE water you can see, as you travel. And when the ship is docked, you can see a little more of the port city you are visiting. The cost increases the higher you go on the ship, and inside rooms are generally less expensive.


9.  EXCURSIONS.  Referring back to question #1, you can consider what type of vacation you want. Maybe your read-on-the-sand vacation will only require you to find a suitable beach and a taxi to it. You might ask the ship's entertainment crew where they would go to enjoy a beach. Kitchen and cleaning staff work all day while vacationers are exploring the port, but the dancers, comedians and evening show people have the days to themselves. They generally don't hang out on the same crowded beaches as the rest of the cruise travelers.

If your interests are varied and more adventurous, you should research ahead of time. If the days get away from you and you wait until you board the ship to think about excursions, you'll be locked in to their choices for excursions. This is fine, overall. They may sell out, though, so you have to make some quick decisions once you're on board, if you're considering the more popular excursions.

We planned our excursions long before we actually went on the cruise, but you don't have to plan that far ahead. The ship offers many of the same excursions we found online. For us, half the fun was planning our outings. We would take an interest poll at dinnertime: "Who wants to go snorkeling? ATVing? Number your top choices 1 to 3, and we'll try to plan at least one #1 activity for each person in the family."

We did book a snorkel trip for the day we spent in Belize. We took a shuttle to a small airport and boarded a little plane to a tiny island. Once there, we sped in a motorboat to "Shark & Ray Alley." This is where fishermen used to bring their fish, clean them, and dump the leftovers into the water. The sharks and rays got used to being fed regularly, and the population of those sea creatures grew.  Swimming with these animals was a definite highlight for our kids.

We probably saved some money by booking directly with the organizations, but not really that much.

10.  AVAILABLE DISCOUNTS.  If you are a AAA member, you may get some discounts here and there. Your bank may offer some travel discounts if you use their credit card to pay for the vacation. You can get on the email list of VacationsToGo.com, who send out cruise discounts periodically. Some cruise lines also offer discounts to those who have cruised with them before.

Our cruise was one of our family's favorite vacations together. The kids were great ages for it: they were allowed the freedom they craved as teens, on an enclosed vessel where they couldn't go too far. Meals were varied and top-notch, and the selection was fabulous for every meal.

Babies and toddlers of course won't appreciate all the amenities, but cruises are still a nice family reunion idea since the moms don't have to cook or clean up after everybody.

Service Given by Cadets

(This article was published in the Church News of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, May 13, 2012.  The article was titled "Thank you.")

AYKAWAHAMA, JAPAN

Seven cadets from the US Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colo. -- including five Latter-day Saint returned missionaries -- took their spring break and flew to Japan to give volunteer service in the remote town of Ayukawahama, which was devastated by the March 11, 2011, earthquake and tsunami.

This area received some of the worst damage as a result of the biggest natural disaster to hit Japan in a thousand years.

While in Japan the cadets dug and unclogged 13 tons of sludge and debris from 392 meters of water drain along the Kyubun coast in Ayukawahama -- providing running water and a drainage system for the homes in the city.

The group also moved desks from Yugawa Elementary School -- which was damaged in the disaster and officially closed in March 2012.  In addition, they helped build a memorial room to remember Yugawa Elementary at the new Ohara Elementary, the school built to replace the damaged school.

Before the trip, the cadets -- including Bill Merkel of Washington, D.C., Jack Waller of Mission Viejo, Calif., Ethan Salgado of Simi Valley, Calif., Nathaniel Youd of Cari, N.C., Bradford Hackert of Thomaston, Conn., Joseph Suwabe of Riverdale, N.Y., and Chris Raskey, Orlando, Fla. -- organized a service club, "Cadets in Action Overseas."

They had tried since the fall of last year to get official government sponsorship for the trip.  but when the funds were not available, each cadet paid his own air fare to Japan, where they traveled 200 miles north to the Oshika Peninsula and joined a Mormon Helping Hands project organized by the Church.  During their time in Japan, the dadets slept on the floor in a temporary community center without heat of hot water.

Each, however, said the service was worth the effort.

Cadet Waller spoke to a woman in Japan at a convenience store.  "When she learned that we were volunteering to help clean up in the aftermath of the tsuname, she had a look in her eyes and in her body language that expressed 'thank you,' and then she said, "Arigato gozaimasu."  That was all the Japanese that I understood at that point in time, bugt ust the way she said it, and the spirit that was about her, really told me that the service we were giving really meant something to her."

--Conan Grames, Asia North Area director of public affairs

Must-See Boston Area: Minuteman Nat'l Park

Since we came to live in the Boston area a few years ago, our family has been able to take advantage of some wonderful opportunities to discover and learn about the history of our nation.

Occasionally on this blog I will highlight some touristy spots.  The Minute Man National Historic Park is a great little visitor's center and park, and you can walk just as much or as little as you want to, down the trail.  It is shaded much of the time, and pretty flat.  Kids could walk or bike the trail, no problem.  There are a couple of parking lots to choose from, and you can start your walk anywhere along the trail.

If you start at the Visitor's Center in Lincoln, it gives an overview of the political climate of the time period, and there is a short video presentation every 20 minutes or so, where you relive some of the details leading up to Paul Revere's Ride.

As you walk or bike the trail, you can stop along the way to see the fields where battles were fought.  During the summer months, there are guides in the buildings in period dress, telling their stories of life during the conflicts.  They will also answer your questions, and one showed us how to load and shoot a rifle.

This is a beautiful walk, and spring/summer in New England boasts many colorful wildflowers.

Of course there are also insects--don't forget the bug spray for mosquitoes!  My kids loved these dragonflies.

They didn't love the bees so much...their nest was in the bricks of the fireplace of this house along the way.

Whether you have the whole afternoon, or just an hour--this National Historic Park is well worth your time.  True to the tradition of our National Parks, it is clean, informative, and very well-preserved.  The fact that it's nestled in beautiful New England is additional icing on the cake!

10 Ways to be a Good Friend

I've been thinking about my Good Friends lately.  (Capitalized because they are a distinct category.  It's important.)

Once I read a good quote that said, "We don't have to change friends, if we understand that friends change."

This has applied very much in my own life.  Only I haven't realized it until just recently.

People's needs change.  You start out thinking that "friends" are anyone in the same playroom with you.  Little kids are so good at that: just playing with anyone who is there (ok, who also has good toys).  Then you start school.

You need a certain level of friendship in Elementary School, then the level changes some in Middle School.  That level evolves and turns a little more each year.  By the time you are in High School, you may need something different from your friends.  People might be ready to give the "next" level of friendship, or they might not.  If your needs are not being met, you may change friends to fill some different needs.

Then you go to college and you don't see the same friends.  You meet people from different backgrounds and realize that the world is bigger than you thought.  But that's for another post.

I've been thinking about the people I consider friends.  I've been contemplating exactly why I am comfortable around them, and the characteristics that make me feel "safe" when I am with them.  Here is a partial list of those characteristics I would like to emulate.

How to Be a Good Friend: (not in any particular order)

1)  Listen.  Focus on the other person when they are with you.

2)  Smile.  Ok, I don't mean Big-Smile-All-The-Time.  And I know some people rarely smile "big."  Just an acknowledgement that the other person knows you are happy they are around.

3)  Show concern for the other person's problem.  Don't try to solve the problem-- it's better if you just let them talk. (see #1)

4)  Remember a birthday.  Facebook makes this extremely easy now.  The "old-fashioned" ways are still okay, too: send a card, leave a phone message, drop off a balloon or a plate of carrot sticks (PC now, of course...heaven forbid we eat sugar)!  Ha, I'm kidding.  Your friend probably has a favorite sweet or treat you could leave on the doorstep.

5)  Keep confidences.  Even if it wasn't prefaced with the specific words, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"  Most personal conversations are just that: conversations for 2 people.

6)  Give your friend the benefit of the doubt.  That means you ASSUME the BEST in them.  If there is a misunderstanding or terse words, let it go.  We all have frustrating moments where we wish we had said or done something differently.  "People do the best they can with what they have at that moment."

7)  Acknowledge the important events.  (Example: see #4)  If something grand is happening in their life, at least let them know you are thinking about them.  Weddings, baptisms, blessings, births, deaths--all these things affect and change lives profoundly.  Maybe you aren't in the forefront since you are not their immediate family.  But showing your support in a small way can help buoy your friend up.

8)  Find ways to make their burdens lighter.  Ok, this may sound a little deep, but sometimes friends are allowed to be deep.  With an important event, there might be some details you can help with, or at least be a sounding board for their ideas.  If your friend is "stressed out," just knowing you're willing to help can be a big help.

9)  Build trust.  This takes time.  You want them to be comfortable around you.  Be patient as they talk, so they don't feel rushed or like they have to explain why they are feeling the way they do.  Be positive and tolerant, even if you don't agree with their opinion.

10)  Don't expect anything from your friend.  Truly.  Not a thing.  Repeat this mantra: "People do the best they can with what they have at that moment."  Whether their "best" is "good enough" is not for us to judge.

That's probably a subject for another post, too.

In What Ways Can I Express My Faithfulness?

I can show my faith in Jesus Christ through my actions.  Every day, I make decisions on how to spend my time.  We are all given the same 24 hours in a day.  I can serve my family.  I can serve my sisters in the gospel.  I can serve my husband.  I can serve my neighbors.

I can show my faith in Jesus Christ with words.  I can talk about my belief in our Savior, and in the plan of Salvation.  I can support the prophet and align my life with the words of the prophets, both ancient and modern-day.  General Conference talks give us counsel from our prophets today.  Scriptures give us counsel from the prophets of ancient times.

I can do all the "Sunday School answer" things, not because in and of themselves they will bring me closer to our Savior, but by consistently practicing those things, I can position myself in a better place to receive the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Pray.  I can pray in the morning and at night.  This is the ideal, but I don't do it.  I pray with the family at mealtimes (breakfast and dinner), and we have family prayer in the evening.  I pray more in my mind throughout the day...an ongoing conversation, of thanks or concern as I am driving or on my way to other responsibilities.  I could improve in this area.

Fast.  This Sunday we plan to fast.  This should be thought out before the fact, so that our prayers can be more pointed and powerful during the fast.  We should think about Mary Lou this time.  We can fast and pray for her comfort and strength as she fights the cancer that has her bedridden at this time.

Read Scriptures.  I read scriptures with the family on a nightly basis, although lately it has been more like once a week.  We can get back into that habit.  Talking about the scriptures as we read them, and discussing our own understanding of the verses and events should help us enhance our individual understanding and interpretation of them.

Attend Sunday meetings.  Our regular attendance at church meetings on Sunday serves multiple purposes.  First and foremost, we can partake of the Sacrament.  This is a renewal of our commitment to the Lord, that we are willing to take upon us His name and live as a disciple of Christ.  That we will always remember Him, and try to be like Him.  The other reason to go to church each week is to feel the spirit of God.  To be buoyed up by other members who can lift us, or who might be in need of lifting.  We go to our meetings to "fill our buckets" to help us accomplish the week's responsibilities, and also to help fill the buckets of others in attendance.

Hold regular Family Home Evenings.  Another piece of counsel from our prophet.  This time together can help strengthen our family members.  They can learn gospel principles, strengthen testimonies, and also build relationships with other family members.  It gives us a chance to interact in a safe setting (our home) and learn together.

Measuring a Genuine Christian

How are "obedience" and "love" accurate gauges for measuring a genuine Christian?

A Christian is someone who follows the teachings of Christ, and tries to live as he lived.  We cannot know a person's heart, only God and Jesus know those things.  So all we can see are what's shown on the outside.

"Love" seems to be the easy one to notice and identify.  You can know that someone loves you by the way they act towards you.  Showing kindness, a comforting word, help with chores, or being a listening ear when someone is going through a rough trial.

But now that I've written that, what about people who find it difficult to "show" love?  Does it mean they don't love you if they don't do those things?

I've decided no.  People show love the best way they know how.  If they are not talkers or communicative verbally, maybe they show love by working hard for their family every day.  Maybe they keep the yard presentable or shovel snow when it's needed.  Maybe they take care of home issues when they arise, and even though they don't talk to you much, they still love you very much.

Back to the question.  When someone shows love to another, either verbally or through service, they are serving Christ.  That is what He asked us to do.  Love each other.  If someone serves other people, he is being a disciple of Christ.

Obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel, and to the commandments, are another way to show discipleship.  It's hard to keep all of the commandments all of the time.  Honoring your parents when you don't agree with them.  Being truthful about every flaw you have casts YOU in a bad light.  Sometimes we slip because we don't want to be uncomfortable or embarrassed.

By trying every day, people can become more like our Savior.  We can never be like him all the way, by ourselves.  But that's not the point.  We try, and each try builds new or stronger connection synapses in our brains!  That makes it easier for us to do it again next time. (Can you tell I just read an article on brain synapses and forming habits...)

Service

How does service also cleanse the soul of both the giver and the receiver?When someone serves another person, she helps them, on the surface.  She offers a piece of her own self, a piece of her time, her substance, her love.  She is willing to give up what she might otherwise have chosen, in the name of helping someone else.

When we give of ourselves, we can feel just a tiny bit how Jesus felt as he served everyone with whom he came in contact.  He gave them a little piece of his goodness, a small sample of virtue.  This builds feelings of goodwill, of self worth, and lifts the spirit of the receiver.

Somehow, it also lifts the spirits of the giver.  By serving our neighbor, we share with them the attitude of sharing and gratitude.  We allude to the thought that we think they are worth our time and our efforts.  We honor them, and in that act we also honor our Savior.

At baptism, we all take upon ourselves the name of Christ.  This means we are willing to stand up for good things, and not sit still when injustice occurs.

How is service, to or from others, blessing your life right now?
I was able to talk to the lady from the Salvation Army, about help they might need in the future.  She outlined some of their needs, and I was able to pass those along to Frank.  He told a scout about that need, and it may be able to work as an Eagle Project.

My neighbors share in the carpool responsibilities as we transport children to and from school activities every week.  This lightens my responsibility load considerably.

My visiting teachers, Becky Cyr and Mischell Shapiro, are dedicated to...me!  They check up on me, and bring me inspirational messages.  Last month they helped wrap empty boxes to be used in the Ward Christmas party.  They helped me with one of my responsibilities.  They lifted my "burden."

Their service helped me feel "light."  I think this is the strength the Savior wishes for us to have.  We grow stronger when we try to live like Jesus Christ.