Must-See Boston Area: Minuteman Nat'l Park

Since we came to live in the Boston area a few years ago, our family has been able to take advantage of some wonderful opportunities to discover and learn about the history of our nation.

Occasionally on this blog I will highlight some touristy spots.  The Minute Man National Historic Park is a great little visitor's center and park, and you can walk just as much or as little as you want to, down the trail.  It is shaded much of the time, and pretty flat.  Kids could walk or bike the trail, no problem.  There are a couple of parking lots to choose from, and you can start your walk anywhere along the trail.

If you start at the Visitor's Center in Lincoln, it gives an overview of the political climate of the time period, and there is a short video presentation every 20 minutes or so, where you relive some of the details leading up to Paul Revere's Ride.

As you walk or bike the trail, you can stop along the way to see the fields where battles were fought.  During the summer months, there are guides in the buildings in period dress, telling their stories of life during the conflicts.  They will also answer your questions, and one showed us how to load and shoot a rifle.

This is a beautiful walk, and spring/summer in New England boasts many colorful wildflowers.

Of course there are also insects--don't forget the bug spray for mosquitoes!  My kids loved these dragonflies.

They didn't love the bees so much...their nest was in the bricks of the fireplace of this house along the way.

Whether you have the whole afternoon, or just an hour--this National Historic Park is well worth your time.  True to the tradition of our National Parks, it is clean, informative, and very well-preserved.  The fact that it's nestled in beautiful New England is additional icing on the cake!

10 Ways to be a Good Friend

I've been thinking about my Good Friends lately.  (Capitalized because they are a distinct category.  It's important.)

Once I read a good quote that said, "We don't have to change friends, if we understand that friends change."

This has applied very much in my own life.  Only I haven't realized it until just recently.

People's needs change.  You start out thinking that "friends" are anyone in the same playroom with you.  Little kids are so good at that: just playing with anyone who is there (ok, who also has good toys).  Then you start school.

You need a certain level of friendship in Elementary School, then the level changes some in Middle School.  That level evolves and turns a little more each year.  By the time you are in High School, you may need something different from your friends.  People might be ready to give the "next" level of friendship, or they might not.  If your needs are not being met, you may change friends to fill some different needs.

Then you go to college and you don't see the same friends.  You meet people from different backgrounds and realize that the world is bigger than you thought.  But that's for another post.

I've been thinking about the people I consider friends.  I've been contemplating exactly why I am comfortable around them, and the characteristics that make me feel "safe" when I am with them.  Here is a partial list of those characteristics I would like to emulate.

How to Be a Good Friend: (not in any particular order)

1)  Listen.  Focus on the other person when they are with you.

2)  Smile.  Ok, I don't mean Big-Smile-All-The-Time.  And I know some people rarely smile "big."  Just an acknowledgement that the other person knows you are happy they are around.

3)  Show concern for the other person's problem.  Don't try to solve the problem-- it's better if you just let them talk. (see #1)

4)  Remember a birthday.  Facebook makes this extremely easy now.  The "old-fashioned" ways are still okay, too: send a card, leave a phone message, drop off a balloon or a plate of carrot sticks (PC now, of course...heaven forbid we eat sugar)!  Ha, I'm kidding.  Your friend probably has a favorite sweet or treat you could leave on the doorstep.

5)  Keep confidences.  Even if it wasn't prefaced with the specific words, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"  Most personal conversations are just that: conversations for 2 people.

6)  Give your friend the benefit of the doubt.  That means you ASSUME the BEST in them.  If there is a misunderstanding or terse words, let it go.  We all have frustrating moments where we wish we had said or done something differently.  "People do the best they can with what they have at that moment."

7)  Acknowledge the important events.  (Example: see #4)  If something grand is happening in their life, at least let them know you are thinking about them.  Weddings, baptisms, blessings, births, deaths--all these things affect and change lives profoundly.  Maybe you aren't in the forefront since you are not their immediate family.  But showing your support in a small way can help buoy your friend up.

8)  Find ways to make their burdens lighter.  Ok, this may sound a little deep, but sometimes friends are allowed to be deep.  With an important event, there might be some details you can help with, or at least be a sounding board for their ideas.  If your friend is "stressed out," just knowing you're willing to help can be a big help.

9)  Build trust.  This takes time.  You want them to be comfortable around you.  Be patient as they talk, so they don't feel rushed or like they have to explain why they are feeling the way they do.  Be positive and tolerant, even if you don't agree with their opinion.

10)  Don't expect anything from your friend.  Truly.  Not a thing.  Repeat this mantra: "People do the best they can with what they have at that moment."  Whether their "best" is "good enough" is not for us to judge.

That's probably a subject for another post, too.

In What Ways Can I Express My Faithfulness?

I can show my faith in Jesus Christ through my actions.  Every day, I make decisions on how to spend my time.  We are all given the same 24 hours in a day.  I can serve my family.  I can serve my sisters in the gospel.  I can serve my husband.  I can serve my neighbors.

I can show my faith in Jesus Christ with words.  I can talk about my belief in our Savior, and in the plan of Salvation.  I can support the prophet and align my life with the words of the prophets, both ancient and modern-day.  General Conference talks give us counsel from our prophets today.  Scriptures give us counsel from the prophets of ancient times.

I can do all the "Sunday School answer" things, not because in and of themselves they will bring me closer to our Savior, but by consistently practicing those things, I can position myself in a better place to receive the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Pray.  I can pray in the morning and at night.  This is the ideal, but I don't do it.  I pray with the family at mealtimes (breakfast and dinner), and we have family prayer in the evening.  I pray more in my mind throughout the day...an ongoing conversation, of thanks or concern as I am driving or on my way to other responsibilities.  I could improve in this area.

Fast.  This Sunday we plan to fast.  This should be thought out before the fact, so that our prayers can be more pointed and powerful during the fast.  We should think about Mary Lou this time.  We can fast and pray for her comfort and strength as she fights the cancer that has her bedridden at this time.

Read Scriptures.  I read scriptures with the family on a nightly basis, although lately it has been more like once a week.  We can get back into that habit.  Talking about the scriptures as we read them, and discussing our own understanding of the verses and events should help us enhance our individual understanding and interpretation of them.

Attend Sunday meetings.  Our regular attendance at church meetings on Sunday serves multiple purposes.  First and foremost, we can partake of the Sacrament.  This is a renewal of our commitment to the Lord, that we are willing to take upon us His name and live as a disciple of Christ.  That we will always remember Him, and try to be like Him.  The other reason to go to church each week is to feel the spirit of God.  To be buoyed up by other members who can lift us, or who might be in need of lifting.  We go to our meetings to "fill our buckets" to help us accomplish the week's responsibilities, and also to help fill the buckets of others in attendance.

Hold regular Family Home Evenings.  Another piece of counsel from our prophet.  This time together can help strengthen our family members.  They can learn gospel principles, strengthen testimonies, and also build relationships with other family members.  It gives us a chance to interact in a safe setting (our home) and learn together.

Measuring a Genuine Christian

How are "obedience" and "love" accurate gauges for measuring a genuine Christian?

A Christian is someone who follows the teachings of Christ, and tries to live as he lived.  We cannot know a person's heart, only God and Jesus know those things.  So all we can see are what's shown on the outside.

"Love" seems to be the easy one to notice and identify.  You can know that someone loves you by the way they act towards you.  Showing kindness, a comforting word, help with chores, or being a listening ear when someone is going through a rough trial.

But now that I've written that, what about people who find it difficult to "show" love?  Does it mean they don't love you if they don't do those things?

I've decided no.  People show love the best way they know how.  If they are not talkers or communicative verbally, maybe they show love by working hard for their family every day.  Maybe they keep the yard presentable or shovel snow when it's needed.  Maybe they take care of home issues when they arise, and even though they don't talk to you much, they still love you very much.

Back to the question.  When someone shows love to another, either verbally or through service, they are serving Christ.  That is what He asked us to do.  Love each other.  If someone serves other people, he is being a disciple of Christ.

Obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel, and to the commandments, are another way to show discipleship.  It's hard to keep all of the commandments all of the time.  Honoring your parents when you don't agree with them.  Being truthful about every flaw you have casts YOU in a bad light.  Sometimes we slip because we don't want to be uncomfortable or embarrassed.

By trying every day, people can become more like our Savior.  We can never be like him all the way, by ourselves.  But that's not the point.  We try, and each try builds new or stronger connection synapses in our brains!  That makes it easier for us to do it again next time. (Can you tell I just read an article on brain synapses and forming habits...)

Service

How does service also cleanse the soul of both the giver and the receiver?When someone serves another person, she helps them, on the surface.  She offers a piece of her own self, a piece of her time, her substance, her love.  She is willing to give up what she might otherwise have chosen, in the name of helping someone else.

When we give of ourselves, we can feel just a tiny bit how Jesus felt as he served everyone with whom he came in contact.  He gave them a little piece of his goodness, a small sample of virtue.  This builds feelings of goodwill, of self worth, and lifts the spirit of the receiver.

Somehow, it also lifts the spirits of the giver.  By serving our neighbor, we share with them the attitude of sharing and gratitude.  We allude to the thought that we think they are worth our time and our efforts.  We honor them, and in that act we also honor our Savior.

At baptism, we all take upon ourselves the name of Christ.  This means we are willing to stand up for good things, and not sit still when injustice occurs.

How is service, to or from others, blessing your life right now?
I was able to talk to the lady from the Salvation Army, about help they might need in the future.  She outlined some of their needs, and I was able to pass those along to Frank.  He told a scout about that need, and it may be able to work as an Eagle Project.

My neighbors share in the carpool responsibilities as we transport children to and from school activities every week.  This lightens my responsibility load considerably.

My visiting teachers, Becky Cyr and Mischell Shapiro, are dedicated to...me!  They check up on me, and bring me inspirational messages.  Last month they helped wrap empty boxes to be used in the Ward Christmas party.  They helped me with one of my responsibilities.  They lifted my "burden."

Their service helped me feel "light."  I think this is the strength the Savior wishes for us to have.  We grow stronger when we try to live like Jesus Christ.

Being Thankful

Being thakful.  It's Thanksgiving weekend again!  Here is part of my list of Things I Am Thankful For.

A husband who is willing,and has been willing for almost 20 years, to support our family.
Frank has a good, stable job.
A church closeby.
Good neighbors.
Transportation: 2 working vehicles.
A new, functional kitchen.
A dry garage.
Soft blankets to cuddle with and watch a movie with Frank.
Beautiful fall leaves.
High-speed Internet connection.
Good books.
Inspirational messages from General Conference.
Pumpkin pie.
Warm roll with ham and cheese.
Laughing with family.
Eating dinner with my family.
Cell phones.
Medical facilities closeby.
My own teeth and hair!
Being able to exercise.
Electricity.
Running Water.
Schools.
Good teachers.

This is just a start!  Our family is so blessed.

Thoughts on Sunday

I need to keep up on my journal, and this is the most comfortable place for that right now.

GRATEFUL for Frank.  The more I talk to people/friends/neighbors, somehow the more I am grateful for my husband.  So many stories of men who won't talk to their wives about things, who don't take care of the kids or who when they do, it's only putting them in front of a DVD and otherwise ignoring them.

Frank played with our kids when they were little and never balked about taking care of them solo--including diapers, thank you, and he did a good job of it.  (Neither one of us wanted Puke Duty when there was stomach flu...we kind of switched off.  Eeeewww.)

Now, he asks them for their input on trips and outings, and is willing to drive them places when there is a conflict (a conflict with ME doing it--it's still my job.  His job pays our mortgage, and everything else).  He knows about their activities and goes to Back to School Night.

The girls "fight" over who gets to sit by Dad in Sacrament Meeting.  The kids really like to be with him.  He makes a great weekend breakfast, and lets Kara have sleepovers.  (I'd say no to every sleepover, don't know why.  But Frank thinks they're no big deal, and they probably aren't a big deal.  We have them periodically.)

I need to be more meaningful in my prayers.  I am in such a distracted state most of the time--somebody is always right in my face with a question or needing to find something.  I really pray more in my mind while I'm in the car or getting ready in the morning.  It's not a good habit that I've fallen into.

I never thought parenting would be the way it is.  And we have good kids!  ha.  It's everywhere, all the time, always more to do, as a parent!  And reminding the kids to do things (chores, practice piano, etc.) is not fun.  But I need to be the parent.  There needs to be boundaries.  Even the Lord sets boundaries for us, and even He chastises us when needed.  He does it to us because he knows we'll be better people for it.  I need to look at the big picture and recognize that my kids will be better people if they are taught responsibility and accountability, and to love the Lord.

Now I'm rambling.  I love my kids.  They are awesome.

More later, Kari